Sunday, October 17, 2010



Moving on. Seems so -fucking- hard for me to do that small 'word' become a reality. Seems like…. there's no other option for me to moving forward. Hanging on with this un-comfortable condition. But……I'am so thankful to you to make me strong like this and how pity I become. Trapped at the same mistake (again and again). I wondered why I could be like this. Like a stupid girl who had a stupid summer romance. Could we erase the memories? How if we never meet before? May I ask you some question like….. "why did you say that you love me so much but then you did break it?" or "why does everyone need to moving on?". I can't tell you what it really is, I can only tell you what it feels like. Feels not good at all. If someday I said I'am okay. Please just realized that's not totally I am. Everyone thoughts that I'am too strong to let go. Too strong to face it all by myself. Now I know we said things, did things that we didn't mean. And we fall back into the same patterns, into the same routine. But wait, have I ever told you that you've been my routine for 7 months passed? Haaaaaahhhhh…..then what should I do? I really need to find someone better than you, and I know you need to find a better girl than me too. We both need it, right? So far…'re the best guy I've ever had. The best that I ever wanted. You said that we could through this as long as we wanted, as long as the time permit us to find others. You said that we don't need to forget the memories, but the aim is you forget the important part of the path. The reason why you acted like that. I remembered how did it ruin us both. How could you forget every single things that we've spent.

Saturday, October 02, 2010



holaaaaaaaa everyone!! how was yer saturday? it was fun? or sad? or maybe flat? my saturday was...........standard. okay honestly i spent my day (today) sitting in front of my laptop------all day. i decided to went to Gramedia Matraman with my Mom, but i thought she was a lil' bit busy w/ her own stuff. sooooo, finally i didn't go anywhere -_____- what a boredom day. but then i'd surfing on the internet and found a light effects named, Bokeh. let me show you them!

yes, i'am done about what bokeh is, right? then..then...which subject we'd like to talk about, huh? my love story? i bet all of you kinda bored reading that stupid-damn-love-story-line. and i'am not going to ruin you bout that hahaha but.......may make some excuses, please?
okey good, i'am going to tell you about 5. yes it's a number. not an ordinary number, that's a special number. i was born on August 5th and being happy for the first time on December 5th too. and it's about 2 days must be our 10th months Anniversary. i-still-count-it-and-mark-it-on-my-calendar. pathetic. seems like 'moving on' word is never exist. i pray my best for you, like i usually do and you always know that my pray is belong to you :') have a great day. ad god bless!

Thursday, September 30, 2010

school's photo shoot!


do you mind if i share some of my photo here? okey fine. let's see it first. they're me, Dian, Alvin, and Kareem. the pict take on last Monday at the second break. see these!

Sunday, September 26, 2010

big big cat


me and Bigi

hello jell- o everyone! how was yer short holiday huh? mine was...... flat. i actually need more, more, more, and more holiday for refreshing my brain.
i have a new cat mihihihihi, named Bigi. big big cat. i got the cat from my teacher at school. oh ya, the cat is a girl and i thought she's still virgin. i need a boy cat to marry with her, because i really wanna have a kitten. about her name......her really name is Tiwi, but i changed it then by kak Gita's suggestion. the name have some meaning, kak Gita has mentioning it to me. aaaa just because the name is Bigi, i remembered about someone and....something.

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

the right words


Lately I've been staring at your pictures, trying to figure out how to say the right words. The words that will touch your heart as well as your soul. The kind of words you've been wanting to hear for 5 long years. Yet it seems useless when you will never hardly look my way. There's so much tension when we bump heads that it seems the light only gets dimmer on the other side of the tunnel.

Silly of me to think it will change your mind about us, but it never hurts to try. Yangke....I miss you. i miss you so much that I drive myself insane hoping and praying you'll come back and give us a second chance. when i look at you I cant help but to fall in a transe looking into your deep brown eyes.

I stayed up all night trying to figure out the right words. Then I began to think about, what would be the music to your ears what would make you cry, the tears of happiness. Then it hit me. The words i was missing were already spoken several times but I never meant a single word............til now.

So Obim, I want to tell you those words, and I mean with every ounce of me, from the bottom of my heart, now and forever.....