Move-hard-on

Moving on. Seems so -fucking- hard for me to do that small 'word' become a reality. Seems like…. there's no other option for me to moving forward. Hanging on with this un-comfortable condition. But……I'am so thankful to you to make me strong like this and how pity I become. Trapped at the same mistake (again and again). I wondered why I could be like this. Like a stupid girl who had a stupid summer romance. Could we erase the memories? How if we never meet before? May I ask you some question like….. "why did you say that you love me so much but then you did break it?" or "why does everyone need to moving on?". I can't tell you what it really is, I can only tell you what it feels like. Feels not good at all. If someday I said I'am okay. Please just realized that's not totally I am. Everyone thoughts that I'am too strong to let go. Too strong to face it all by myself. Now I know we said things, did things that we didn't mean. And we fall back into the same patterns, into the same routine. But wait, have I ever told you that you've been my routine for 7 months passed? Haaaaaahhhhh…..then what should I do? I really need to find someone better than you, and I know you need to find a better girl than me too. We both need it, right? So far…..you're the best guy I've ever had. The best that I ever wanted. You said that we could through this as long as we wanted, as long as the time permit us to find others. You said that we don't need to forget the memories, but the aim is you forget the important part of the path. The reason why you acted like that. I remembered how did it ruin us both. How could you forget every single things that we've spent.

sat-Bokeh-day

holaaaaaaaa everyone!! how was yer saturday? it was fun? or sad? or maybe flat? my saturday was...........standard. okay honestly i spent my day (today) sitting in front of my laptop------all day. i decided to went to Gramedia Matraman with my Mom, but i thought she was a lil' bit busy w/ her own stuff. sooooo, finally i didn't go anywhere -_____- what a boredom day. but then i'd surfing on the internet and found a light effects named, Bokeh. let me show you them!














yes, i'am done about what bokeh is, right? then..then...which subject we'd like to talk about, huh? my love story? i bet all of you kinda bored reading that stupid-damn-love-story-line. and i'am not going to ruin you bout that hahaha but.......may make some excuses, please?
okey good, i'am going to tell you about 5. yes it's a number. not an ordinary number, that's a special number. i was born on August 5th and being happy for the first time on December 5th too. and it's about 2 days ahead.......it must be our 10th months Anniversary. i-still-count-it-and-mark-it-on-my-calendar. pathetic. seems like 'moving on' word is never exist. i pray my best for you, like i usually do and you always know that my pray is belong to you :') have a great day. ad god bless!

school's photo shoot!

do you mind if i share some of my photo here? okey fine. let's see it first. they're me, Dian, Alvin, and Kareem. the pict take on last Monday at the second break. see these!

big big cat

me and Bigi

hello jell- o everyone! how was yer short holiday huh? mine was...... flat. i actually need more, more, more, and more holiday for refreshing my brain.
anyway......
i have a new cat mihihihihi, named Bigi. big big cat. i got the cat from my teacher at school. oh ya, the cat is a girl and i thought she's still virgin. i need a boy cat to marry with her, because i really wanna have a kitten. about her name......her really name is Tiwi, but i changed it then by kak Gita's suggestion. the name have some meaning, kak Gita has mentioning it to me. aaaa just because the name is Bigi, i remembered about someone and....something.

the right words

Lately I've been staring at your pictures, trying to figure out how to say the right words. The words that will touch your heart as well as your soul. The kind of words you've been wanting to hear for 5 long years. Yet it seems useless when you will never hardly look my way. There's so much tension when we bump heads that it seems the light only gets dimmer on the other side of the tunnel.

Silly of me to think it will change your mind about us, but it never hurts to try. Yangke....I miss you. i miss you so much that I drive myself insane hoping and praying you'll come back and give us a second chance. when i look at you I cant help but to fall in a transe looking into your deep brown eyes.

I stayed up all night trying to figure out the right words. Then I began to think about, what would be the music to your ears what would make you cry, the tears of happiness. Then it hit me. The words i was missing were already spoken several times but I never meant a single word............til now.

So Obim, I want to tell you those words, and I mean with every ounce of me, from the bottom of my heart, now and forever.....

I LOVE YOU.

58th days

aloha folks.......how was yer day, huh? mine was......rrr lil' bit bad.
anyway, today is sunday and you know what is it mean? yep, today is my last day on holiday, oh my gosh!!!

hari ini hari minggu, hari ini hari yang ke 58. apasih put 58? itu hari apaan maksutnya?
okey harinya sih hari biasa aja, gak ada event tertentu, tapi........coba deh kalo lo hitung mundur. nanti juga tau deh pasti alesan gue. duh, sejujurnya ini postingan sampah ya, karena gue tau blog gue terlalu menye-menye, terlau cengeng, dan gak guna banget. maaf banget sebelumnya atas 'curhatan' yang bikin kalian 'muak', yang mungkin marah kalau namanya gue tulis secara 'tidah sengaja' dalam blog ini.

udah 58 hari ya? hem lama juga..................
dan gue masih belum bisa melakukan perubahan terbaik bagi diri gue. bukannya 'belum bisa', tapi mungkin karen gue 'enggak mau'. kasian deh gue sama diri gue, merasa tersiksa sih, tapi apa boleh buat. yang gue inginkan, tidak sejalan dengan apa yang gue butuhkan. stuck.
berharap? masih
berangan? selalu
berusaha? yang terbaik

terimakasih untuk beberapa sahabat yang selalu dukung gue, selalu buat gue senyum. makasiiihhh banget ya :''''') yah as you know gue selalu seneng ngelewatin hari-hari gue bareng kalian. bahkan gue lupa apa itu sedih, galau, gak punya semanagat, pesimis, dan gue tau kalian selalu ada buat gue.
mmaf yah belom bisa tunjukin yang terbaik dari gue, gue masih suka egois dan keras kepala. maaf.

gue yang sekarang, sama kayak putri sekitar 58 hari yang lalu, putri yang cengeng banget. keliatannya sih biasa aja ya, karena gue berusaha untuk tegar, yak tegar. dan itu sangat susah, sangat sulit, dan, sangat berat untuk dijalani, hufttttaaaaahhhhh........
lebay ya gue? iya gue tau memang gue rada lebay, eh bukan rada lagi malahan. udah sangat lebay.

terjebak dalam setiap kenangan manis bersama orang yang kalian sayangi itu....gak mudah. in my case, gue terjebak, tapi kan udah gak.......ya gitulah. pasti ada aja yang marahin gue, karena gue terlalu nyakitin diri gue sendiri, gak kebayang yah gue egois banget---bahkan sama diri gue sendiri. masih sering galau disaat yang gak tepat....duh itu sangat menyedihkan ya ampuunnnnnnnn, baru semenjak SMA ya gue galau terus. apalagi 58 hari terakhir ini.

semoga apa yang telah gue putuskan, berdampak baik ya Allah, AMIN!!!!
gue masih nunggu ada keajaiban. masih nunggu tangan Tuhan mamberkati gue. maaf ya yang sms-nya gak gue bales, maaf banget. gak maksut apa-apa, tapi gue gak siap untuk berkomitmen sama orang 'baru'. gak siap sama sekali. karena kalian taugak sih betapa susahnya (bagi gue) untuk kenal dan tau, bahkan deket sama keluarga gue itu susah?
yah intinya gue nunggu. nunggu. nunggu.......

keep waiting, keep fighting!
you go girl!!!!!!

win some, loose all

i'am sorry for the picture, just past it k?

first of all, i post this because i miss him (now) so much. do you wanna laugh at me? please take your place. kinda bored? me too. i'am too tired to always thinking about love life stuff. really. i really want to ignore it, but i.....just can't. or maybe because i (never) want. oh life....

Why is it that when you love someone really bad you cant be with them? why is it hard to tell my heart to love someone that does not love me as good? is love suppose to make you feel good? or is love supposed to make you feel bad? I ended up hurting my self, thinking I could have that love (again) , many times we all fall in the same hole, thinking that we can have a life, a life filled with green fields, with perfect weather, but we end up living in a storm. A storm that we caused, a storm that we made bigger.

I have learned the hard way, losing my hopes for that person who showed me something different, all I have now is my sadness, and with my music I express my sadness, and will always love you, even if I spend my time loving my memories. Time spent with other people is nothing.

But like I have always said, "you win some, you lose ALL."

hope already gone?

Where does one begin? I'm pretty sure this is a relatively new development in letter writing. Probably there isn't an established genre. Unlike the ubiquitous "Dear John" letter the "she-needs-to-get-her-shit-together-so-she's-moving-out-though-we'll-still-be-dating-but-I'm-insecure" letter has not enjoyed such widespread popularity.

I don't know where to begin. My emotions have been everywhere- angry, sad, self-pitying, resentful, jealous, apathetic, nihilistic, and probably a few others. Right now I feel hopeful. I hope we will become closer through this experience. I hope you can better learn yourself, so that you can show me how to love you better.

I like to think I know you well. I like to think of us as twins. Remember that? Sure, it was a long time ago - and compared to who we are now, it didn't mean that much...before we had touched or kissed or fought or cried together or eaten breakfast together.

It was easier to say big words like "twins" back them. Now when we say words there is a context. When I say I trust you, it means something. We are so much bigger now than our early words. I am glad we became real together.

I want us always to be real, so I write you letters ad naseum telling you how I feel. You're probably rolling your eyes. How could you not know how I feel after all my words to you? I guess this letter is about words. What is the context we have given our words?

Saying "I love you" doesn't even scratch the surface of my feelings for you. It's like trying to squeeze us into three small words. What does it mean? I love you. I love you. I love you. Sometimes I'm so in love with you, and that is all I say: I love you. I love you.

"I love you" means how your body feels curled up behind me in bed; or when you're in front of me, your back, it's skin and muscles, your spine and neck; how I love to plant my lips on your shoulders;

how complete I feel when we talk about art;

how spiritual when we talk about love...isn't that what they mean by God? Isn't that what they mean by art?

how new-born you can make me feel;

how saddened I am by the weight you carry in your mind;

how beautiful I am when I touch you;

how disappointed I am when you don't get shows;

God, how I fail with you; but how you give me hope, and a place to be;

how you console me when I want to quit;

how you keep me looking at myself;

my pride in the meaning of our life together;

how you want me to make friends and feel awkward that I don't;

how you stop me from being self-righteous sometimes (and I know it can't be easy);

because you make me feel better than I would;

the time I would have cheated, but didn't want to, how I still don't, because I know what's at stake, and I know how I feel you in my throat and gut;

how when we hold one another the world feels a little better;

how we saved each other from loneliness and more dying;

how we will again;

how amazing is your art that turns sorrow into solitude into beauty, into compassion;

how you are a poet with your hands, an artist with your eyes;

God, how I love your nakedness - your legs that walk, arms that hold;

how you shape the world, even naked, even vulnerable;

how our hands fit together, but not all the time;

how we didn't have to ask or talk or make a plan, but just knew;

as if we said, "Here. This way. This is where I belong."

how i miss my EX-ClassMates

oh my gosh! i miss you all guys :')

see how was Ibnu looks like huahahaha

Agam, Taban, and Me

Agam, Tasya, Taban, and Me

impossible action

Last night I had a beautiful dream, revisiting our walk. In the dream we were walking in a group of people, through an unknown city, along its river, late at night. Every once in awhile we would run out together in front of the group, leaving them behind. We had things to show each other. Sometimes I would pick you up in my arms and run with you, in my arms, down the streets, and sometimes you would do the same with me. In the dream, this impossible action was easy, natural and real.

@putriwiredjo

'we'

we laughed together, before we even said 'hi.'
we then parted, before we even get connected.
we wasted our times, before we started treasuring them.
we fought for moments, before we began to cherish one.
we wondered why things felt so wrong, before we figured what's right.
we tried to shorten the distance, before we even began to walk.
we gradually forgot to laugh,
forgot to treasure,
forgot what it feels like to feel so right,
and forgot to take that step.
we wasted our times,
we fought,
we felt so wrong,
and we got tired of the distance.
we then bid our goodbyes,
before we have a chance to say another 'hi.'

and the story has to end here,
because there's no longer 'we,'
from now on,
there's only you, there's only me,
and everything in between... if there's any.

do you agree that life is a cycle, or in other words, a series of events repeating themselves in a sequence? well, i could not really argue with that statement, but i keenly believe that some events are meant to happen just once. some things, like chances, only come one time. some feelings are meant to be one of a kind. although i am more familiar with the idea that the future is what we should always go after, i know that no matter how beautiful my future is going to be, it is still dark at the moment, and i am still living in the present as of now. i trust that there are things that won't occur ever again, people that won't show up again, and opportunities that won't approach me again, which is why when the present feels so sweet, i secretly wish for time to freeze, so that i'd be able to preserve that moment, that feeling, and that kind of person that i am. or was.

we started out so perfect. a union of both, me and you.
on that special day, you treated me like a lady and even more.

'if i'd a known that was the last time i was gonna talk to you, i would of thought of something better to say'

i never thought that we would break up for the better. Should've never made the promises to each other. so many things i should've said that you didn't know. but i knew you're a good man. give me love. you're faithful--- it showed on my hand.
Honesty (check)
conversation (check)
a shoulder i can lean anytime i'am feeling stressed (check)
good loving (YES)

i'am sorry. i'am sorry for the pain i put you through. But you shouldn't have to suffer cause i'am confused. so much for looking forward to future plan. lost the love of life. i can't lie, when you left, you took a part of me. part of me want you back. wake up crying in the night. no one could take your place, no matter how i try, i can't replace you. You were all i ever wanted. you walked out my door, then you went away. I can't forget it. I can't regret it. Some people say, time has a way of healing, and it can dry all the tear from your eyes.
Oh, but Bim.........they don't tell you about this empty feelin' and i can't disguise it. The best time i ever had when you were mine, said to myself to keep you near. I wish I didn't have to miss you. If only you could be with me always. I know I could never be any happier. But then again, I know that the day will come when I will be able to spend my every waking moment with you. I even miss you when I am sleeping!

PUTRI

No-ne

aaaaaaaaaa gue mau cerita banyak ini Bang Riooooooo sumpah demi apapun gue telfon sibuk terus sih aah!!!!!
Mulai dari hal yang paling besar sampai yang terkecil, memang si abang Rio ini bisa dikatakan lebih mengenal gue luar dalem. Atau mungkin karena beda umur yang hem 4 tahunan kaliya, jadi dia seru banget buat diajak sharing. Nasehatnya.......selalu bener dan nancep dan selalu bisa buat gue berfikir ratusan kali. katanya 'kalo lo mau ambil keputusan, pikirin dampak kedepannya. Jangan mikirin buat lo doang, pikirin orang lain juga. Pikirin segala macem kemungkinan akibat dari setiap keputusan yang lo ambil'. Dan..........itu yang selalu gue pegang, karena ah bener juga kali ya, hidup kita seperti permainan catur. Biar gak salah langkah, makanya we think about so many possibility. yang tau gue luar dalem ya cuma dia. kayak kakak sendiri jatohnya. Bahkan gue seneng kalo ada yang marahin atau ngebentak gue kalo gue lagi egois dan bener-bener gak bisa diajak kompromi. Bukan berarti dia marah atau enggak suka, tapi karena dia sayang sama gue dan mau yang terbaik buat gue.

Dalam kondisi sekarang ini, mungkin gue terkesan ngarep. Haha iya ngarep banget malahan. gue enggak munafik bilang gue masih ngarep. capek soalnya. dibilang masih sayang gak? Iyalah sayang banget. terus???? yaudah gak ada terusannya. terus maunya apa? maunya ya balikan laaaaaaaaaaahhh. yaudah nunggu aja deh nunggu sampe kapanpun gue nungguuuuuuuuuuuuuu...............siapatau ada keajaiban, iya keajaiban. walau terdengar mustahil, tapi gue selalu percaya bahwa keajaiban itu ada.

dan yang kita butuhkan

hallooooo, kembali lagi bersama saya disini hahahaha gak jelas. maaf. semakin hari tingkat gak jelasnya gue meningkat sangat drastis. yak terdengar sedikit lebay atau bahkan.........weird.
okey fine, tadi malem gue nonton REVIIIVAL 3 di Tennis Indoor- Senayan yang sumpah itu keren banget aaaaaaaaaaa #envy. terus pulangnya jam 12an bareng sama @YasmineNrs @nadyachairunisa @kikyapril @TriaPuspita dan #caca. sayangnya @nailestari gak ikut dateng huuufftttt dan............

it's really makes me so hurt when i heard 'it' from my friend's friend mouth. totally pissed me off. you've already makes me dissapointed.

okey emang rada lebay ajaya kedengerannya -emng guenya aja kalo ngomong lebay- yahabis gimana juga dong ya udah mentok juga otak gue, mau cerita sama siapa? ohiya maksih buat @desyaci ya tadi malem udah buat aku tenang :'') disaat gue gak tau siapa lagi yang bisa gue percaya. BESD makasiiiiiiiiihhhh banget udah menhibur :') yasminekucayangbaneeeeetttt uuu.

ohiyaaaaaaaa kemaren gue ditabrak motor di daerah rawamangun looohhhh -_____- egila ajakan yakan yadong pas mau nganterin temen gue si Reza yang mau jenguk pacarnya, Rose di rumah sakit. oh myyy they're make me cry you know. how sweet are they? hem kalo sakit enak deh pasti ditemenin pacar kan. oh ya lanjut ya omongan mulai ngelantur, pas abis kecelakaan, kaki gue perih banget. biru-biru akhirnya, dan........shock.


udah ya ceritanya, capek. doain aja buat #augustwish semoga..........
semua kembali kayak dulu lagi, at least gak seperti sekarang. apa yang dirasa sih kalo mood tiap hari ancur? okey wanita galau ajadeh tiap hari ini jadinya. POKOKNYA MOVING ON!

un-told

hallo blog, apa kabarnya? maaf ya jarang nge-blog, kadang gak dapet inspirasi ataupun mood buat ngepost. kali ini nge-post bukan berarti mood lagi bagus atau bagaimana. nge-post karena ada sesuatu yang ingin disampaikan, tapi sayangnya belum ada waktu yang tepat aja buat ngomong-- dan giliran gue mau serius membicarakannya, waktunya terlambat buat gue.

bimo, terimakasih ya sudah menghabiskan 7 months, 2 weeks, 5 days sama aku. 7 precious months ever pokoknya! sayangnya udah enggak lagi yap. sekarang kalo bangun tidur gak ada sms kamu yang nyemangatin. gak ada lagi yang pamer tentang betapa panasnya Jakarta, jika dibandingkan dengan London yang ada musim dinginnya. gak ada yang bilang mau jemput aku, terus dinner di Paris. gak ada kata-kata yangke lagi. gak ada yang bilang jalan kutu, suruh aku potong kuku, sholat, makan, ngerjain PR. gak ada lagi yang usap rambut aku yang kadang bisa buat tidur. terus gak ada yang gombal lagi deh. gak ada lagi yang jidatnya bisa aku buka. oh iya terimaksih ya boneka reptar dan music box-nya :) apalagi kipasnya. aku jaga baik-baik. maaf juga kalo ini rada sedikit lebay ya bim. i'am sorry i've been selfish, aku gak bilang kalo ada apa-apa, aku nyebelin, tukang ngambek, banyak maunya, maafin aku banget. maafin juga udah 7 bulan ya tapi gini-gini aja keadaannya :"( seneng deh bisa kenal kamu bim :") pokoknya kamu udah baik sanget sama aku, udah mau sabar sama sifat-sifat aku yang kayak anak kecil.

sekarang, as you want. be a good boy ya, always. that's all. jadi kebanggaan orang tua ya, jadi bimo yang selalu aku banggain. tetep rajin les, dan selalu jaga kesehatan. jangan telat juga dateng ke sekolahnya okay! goodboy! oiya sebenarnya banyak banget yang masih mau aku ceritain ke kamu, gak nyangka juga kalo cepet banget kayak gini akhirnya. always be good, be better. and i'll always pray my best for you :"(

love is in the YM

I LOVE YOU BIMO :)

sepatah dua patah curhat

long time no blogging yes? hahahah okey i miss you guys uhuhuhu
okey, sejujurnya kali ini mau nge-blog cuma karena satu minggu dari sekarang ada UAS yang berarti kita sebagai pelajar berkewajiban untuk belajar yah mendingan gue naek onta walaupun sampenya bertahun tahun daripada ngerjain soal limit yang sumpaaaaaaaaaaahhhh sejujurnya otak gue aja udah limit duluan dan sumpah ya bisa-bisa gue ceming kan ngeliat soal yang massya allah ini apa haaaaaaaahhh? dikelas rasanya mau joget kaya pisang gini aja deh see? metal metal gimana gitu kan gayanya kuwl abis. terus pelajaran biologi? ya allah materinya banyak banget? dan susah? dan gak mau liat soalnya lah gue ck joget aloha di depan bu Mustika kira-kira doi terpikat gak ya sama gue yang seksi nan bahenol (??) gue lebih memilih untuk nyetel musik pas pelajaran lagi berlangsung di sekolah gue tau yah gue salah banget gilaaaaaaaaaaa kalo ujung ujungnya keteteran gue gak tega juga sama otak gue yang kapasitasnya emang udah terbatas dan kalo target tahun ini gak tercapai? pasti gue sendiri akan kecewa. semoga naik kelas amin amin terus ya terus nilai nilainya memuaskan dan tambah disayang orangtua dan pacar hehehehehe amiiiiiiinnn


regrads,
putri

you

it's almost 6 months i've spent my day with you

love,
P

i'll never

i'll never change
i'll never stop
this is me
this is me who loves you
just give a change to make you believe
and, i'll never change

i'am, me

I'm a picture without a frame.
A poem without a rhyme.
A car with three wheels.
A sun without fire.
I am a gun without bullets.
I am the truth without someone to hear it.
I am a feeling without someone to feel it.
This is who I am.
A mess without you.
Something beautiful with you.

Fashion Inspiration

hello bloggers......
now, i come back!
i'd love to share to all of you one of my favourite Fashion Inspiration. and yes, she's Alexa Chung :)

Though there are a bevy of fashionable young femmes on MTV's airwaves, one girl always gets the lion's share of our attire-focused attention, both on and off the little screen: Alexa Chung. This British-born VJ and host of MTV's It's On With Alexa Chung talk show has quickly ascended the well-dressed ranks to become a fashion industry heavy-hitter with serious staying power for a reason—trust us, we've been following her for years and she's made nary a misstep! Here at Who What Wear headquarters, we constantly find ourselves ooh-ing and aah-ing over her outfits and often slip into giddy reverie regarding this icon-in-the-making's clothing choices. Now that her tomboyish charm and grunge-meets-girly take on fashion has spawned fans on both sides of the pond and she's inspired her very own namesake bag (more on that in a bit!), we couldn't think of a better candidate to star in today's edition of Style Spotlight!





Though Chung may be best known for her quirky tomboy fashion sense, she can pull off a feminine frock like it's nobody's business! Although you'll never see her in a style that is too revealing, she often goes for dresses that are short and sweet or feature long, clean lines. For example, while attending The September Issue premiere at the Museum of Modern Art in New York City (second from left), Chung looked appropriately fashionable given the event (after all, the documentary follows Anna Wintour, Grace Coddington, and a fleet of frenzied Voguettes putting together the year's biggest monthly edition of Vogue). Though her lovely long crème dress is a vintage treasure and one of a kind, we do think that Thurley's Out Of The Shadow Silk Dress ($570) is a great contemporary alternative to her ecru evening selection. Chung added a little extra kick by styling her look with those beloved Chanel booties and Louis Vuitton's Savane Flight Bag ($2910, 866.VUITTON)—try Topshop's Pyramid Bag ($160) for another great cobalt selection.

welcomeback!!!!!

Good afternoon....... Today, on Monday January 15 2010 I come back into my blog that was loved by me. Yesterday, sorry. I could not renew the page blog. the last few months plenty of tasks that must be done by me.

anyway.........
On December 5 2009 I in relationship with Bimo Dwi Pramesta :) how lucky i am :))) he is a man with the most beautiful eyes i've ever seen, I could not explain to you, honestly, his eyes are really beautiful. He really understood me, mature, good, and I really love him now and forever. And by the way about the task, oh my god. plenty of homework that must be completed by me, every day -__-

Don't ever try to leave me okay Bimo ;) I don't not know how I could breathe without you here stand by me. I could not imagine what will i become without you. I loved you and I hoped you also have that feeling too.

love,
Gita Putri